


love pouring from your heart like blood

by tcnyrhcdey (stcrkson)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Creature Fic, Empaths, M/M, The Effects of Loneliness, Unreliable Narrator, blue and orange morality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stcrkson/pseuds/tcnyrhcdey
Summary: What’s around the riverbend - there’s the boy again. He's always sitting there with his bruises and tears and Steve keeps falling in love.





	love pouring from your heart like blood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amywaited](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amywaited/gifts).



> uhhhh i love @spideysstark on tumblr and so.... yeah, i haven't slept in a while don't ask.

_ Extinguish my eyes, I'll go on seeing you. _

_ Seal my ears, I'll go on hearing you. _

_ And without feet I can make my way to you, _

_ without a mouth I can swear your name… _

 

Steve knew loneliness intimately. It seeped into the corners of his eyes and sang it’s song in his speech. It left him bare and flat-footed, making itself know at the oddest times. He was serving his purpose, guardian of the forest, so why did he feel like there was something more he was missing. Before Steve could think more on this - rather pivotal now that he thought about it - thought process, a figure darted across his vision, trees ringing with fear in his wake. He was going far faster than any human who crossed his path ever did, almost as terrified as the world around him. The boy stopped at a river, chest heaving and sweat gleaming off his face. He had piercing blue eyes and long hair pulled behind him in a messy ponytail. Steve was once again struck with a pang of loneliness, this time mixed with longing. He lumbered closer. It was then that he could hear,  ~~ and taste salt on the air and sorrow in his bones, ~~ sobbing, the heart wrenching kind of crying you did when you thought no one was watching.  _ Who could hurt a being so beautiful.  _

 

“Are you okay?” The words were out of his mouth before he had even thought them. He couldn’t find it in himself to regret it, however, now that the boy was looking at him and  _ by god _ . Blue eyes he thought were piercing were now looking deep into him, stripping away his layers, e _ xposed like a nerve _ . Then he heard the laughter, it was tired and broken and tinged with hysteria, but it was beautiful all the same. 

 

“No, no I don’t suppose I am.” The cynicism in his voice punched through Steve. The trees were cowering again, but in pity, or as close as they could get. Steve was  ~~ \- not supposed to feel emotion - ~~ going to fix this 

 

“What can I do?” The boy opened his mouth to respond, but a yell, loud and angry, rang out deafening and absolutely not there. 

 

“My name is James, but you can call me Bucky.” 

 

That was the last Steve had seen of Bucky for a long time, long enough that Steve could pretend that loss didn’t hurt, that he wasn’t become more and more obsessed with Bucky’s safety. The flowers laughed at his paper thin denial. Then, as sudden as the Bell, he once again felt terror in waves, but even worse was the sorrow, crippling and everywhere. For a second, minuscule and infinite, Steve was lost. He couldn’t see or hear for Bucky. And then suddenly, he was gone, and Steve was left bereft, empty. Almost unthinkingly, Steve set off, teleporting to Bucky’s side without so much as a thought to the repercussions. Bucky turned wildly, but was swept up into Steve’s unnaturally strong arms. An odd clicking noise was coming from Steve, skin tinted green. Bucky petted his hair, almost like a child with a scared cat. Even as gutted as he was, he still took care of everyone around him. He’d be protected and Steve  _ needed _ . It overtook anything else, some sort of carnal desire. 

 

Steve fled.

 

He felt Bucky’s shock just as strong as his fear, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t, turn back now. He ran and ran and ran, ignoring Bucky’s call. Turning back would mean abandoning his post, his purpose. If he could just wait it out until he eventually left again,  ~~temporary and ending~~ , he would be fine. 

 

Bucky never left. In fact, he seemed to be there always. What’s around the riverbend - there’s the boy again. He's always sitting there with his bruises and tears and Steve keeps falling in love. Love was dangerous, especially with him. Bucky was temporary, flitting in and out of his awareness like the spirits in the will o’ the wisps. He was fragile and yet unending. Steve took to watching him, providing food and leading him to water, too close and yet so far away. Time began running together, coalescing itself into Before Bucky and After him. In an odd moment, Steve knew exactly that love was crossing over into obsession, desire coming in and burning everything in its wake, but he couldn’t care, not when Bucky - hale and hearty like he should be - was there close enough to touch. The yelling was there sometimes, first angry, then concerned, then resigned. If Steve angled the wind so that Bucky never heard it,  _ never left him again _ , it was no one’s business but his. 

 

Eventually, Steve began talking to Bucky from always beyond the treeline, the first semi-human contact he’s had in months. Any reservations he may have had about talking to Steve were gone. In its place was an odd desperation, soul yearning forward inside his body. It wasn't anywhere near the love  ~~ \- storge, philia, ludus, agape, pragma, eros,  _ mania - _ ~~ that Steve had for him, but it would do. 

 

“You never told me your name.” 

 

“I'm Steve.” 

 

Glowing teal eyes looked into brilliant blue eyes, grayed by time and stress. They were lit up with love ~~_\- desperation -_~~ and peace ~~_\- exhaustion -_~~ when Steve was done with him. He reached out to touch his cheek, delicate but firm.

 

“I love you.” 

 

“I love you, too”

 

_...Break off my arms, I'll take hold of you _

_ with my heart as with a hand. _

_ Stop my heart, and my brain will start to beat. _

_ And if you consume my brain with fire, _

_ I'll feel you burn in every drop of my blood _

**Author's Note:**

> Steve is a Guardian of the Forest (sort of like Shadow of the Colossus but less eldritch) with Grecian origins, hence the use of the 8 Greek loves.
> 
> Quote by Rainer Maria Rilke
> 
> @spideysstark 


End file.
